Mosaic of a Decade

In six days I will be 30! I'm honestly feeling pretty excited about it! I've been thinking about my 20's lately and I am over whelmed by how much I've been blessed in ten years. Twenty feels like a lifetime ago...seriously. When I think about who I was at twenty and who I am now I'm amazed at how God works in our lives and grows us up, day by day...year by year.

Since twenty, I've moved five times (Scottsdale, AZ; Weare, NH; Boston, MA; Whittier, CA & Otaki, New Zealand); experienced great relational loss and restoration and in the process learned to trust God and be obedient in a way that continues to bring freedom to my life; I'm sorry to those I've hurt out of my insecurity or just plain immaturity and to those I couldn't love like you or I would've like to; I married the man of my dreams at 24 and it's been almost six amazing years already! I love you babe...it's been the most "excellent adventure" of my life!; I have a family that loves, supports, encourages and values me and I couldn't begin to express how blessed I am because of it. Thanks to my parents for their love and for continually pointing me toward God. To my sisters, "Slaw", "Honey", "Coco" and "Mouse", this one's for you, "Sisters, Sisters, never where there such devoted sisters...". Love you all so much!; I've had loved ones pass away; saw many babies of friends and family come into the world including my first nephew, Gideon!; celebrated weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, challenging and positive life changes, healing and growth with those dearest to my heart; I've had challenging jobs and amazing ones! A "big and chunky" shout out to Peg and the ladies at "Peggy Anne's Quilting & Sewing Company"!!! I love and miss you all! Thanks for the good times, our hilarious travel adventures, for all the love, encouragement and prayer you've given over the years, and of course the COFFEE! *hugs*; I've been apart of church communities who know and understand what it means to love and serve God and each other unconditionally; I've learned that I can't, nor should I try (as much as I'd like to) to make everyone happy; I've been insecure, foolish, fearful, prideful, hopeful, honest, dishonest (mostly to myself), humble, anxious, stupid, embarrassing, joyful, overwhelmed, in awe, peaceful, amazed, crazy, courageous, loving, helpful, adventurous, hurt, healed, lost, found, broken, restored and everything in between!; I've experienced the love of God through so many amazing people over the years and I feel extremely honored and humbled to have the continued privileged of knowing each and every one of you; I saw God bring a miraculous healing to my Mom and continue to see him bringing her complete restoration and strength! THANK YOU JESUS!; I've seen God take me from a very insecure, fearful, not sure of her own self-value girl to a woman who believes she is fearfully and wonderfully made and strives every day to stand firm on Christ Jesus as her security, strength and dignity, because I am who God says I am and I have been called and given the right and authority of my God to go and do and be and LIVE all that He is calling me to!; I've traveled to Romania, London, Paris, Rome, Germany, Mexico, Hawaii, Canada, Dominican Republic and New Zealand! God has given me and my husband a passion for Missions (July 2012 will be our third year traveling to the Dominican Republic) and we are excited to continue to align our lives with His calling so we will continue to be available to go wherever He leads us!; I've learned what it is to have neighbors...ones that you actually like and have relationship with! :) We've been so blessed by Danika and Jr., our Weare, NH, neighbors, Nikki and Mavi, our Boston, MA, neighbors, and now Brian, Cathrine, and Sam, our Otaki, NZ, neighbors.; I've been white water rafting, experienced sunset on the Tasman Sea, became a certified scuba diver, been overwhelmed by God's creative design of nature and the complexity of humanity, had many regrets but have learned that we can't let our mistakes or even the things we haven't done dictate our future. 

The choice to LIVE is ours...all we have to do is make it! I had the opportunity to be apart of a Ladies Leadership Training group about three years ago and it impacted my life significantly. I realized through prayer and allot of self reflection that I had become so caught up in being who I thought people expected me to be and living just not to make any mistakes or upset anybody and that I was just striving not to fail...and that is no way to live. Over the years God has continued to teach me how to become true to him by being true to me and to decide everyday that I will choose to LIVE with the time I've been given and not just "get by".

I'm so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and ENORMOUS love for me that I'm in tears just as I reflects on it all. I've had an extremely amazing and blessed 29 years...It hasn't been without hardship, heartache or trial, but I've come to realize that life without hardship, heartache or trial wouldn't be very interesting. Every hardship has pushed me closer to my God, every heartache has demanded that I re-evaluate how I am loving people and how and why I am seeking to be loved, every trial has brought correction and a new capacity to my character. I guess I would say I'm learning to stumble with grace and realize that even though my tiara is on crooked that I am still a site to behold in the eyes of my Father God!

30 here I come! I hope it's ready for me! I am! :)

Being Found

I was thinking today about what it means to be FOUND. I guess you'd first have to realize or admit that you are lost to see that you need to be found, because this can occur in any number of ways. Here are just a couple of examples:

You can be FOUND by seeking after God -

1 Chronicles 28:9

"And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever."

You can be FOUND by God seeking after you - 

Luke 19:10

"For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost."

Luke 15:3-7

"Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulder and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

You can be FOUND by choosing to participate in your family & church community -

Luke 15:24

"For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

1 Peter 4:7-10

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."

Whenever I've moved to a new place I've realized the loss I feel having left loved one behind, and like most of us I'm sure, that feeling of "loss" or of being lost doesn't really go away until I find myself connecting once more with a new community of friends who are like minded. It's definitely not a replacement for the family and church communities I've been so blessed to be apart of in the past. God has shown me that it's more of an "addition" to the beautiful list of people he has used to play significant roles in making me feel found. 

We are so excited to have a new church community in Otaki to be connecting with! They are a beautiful community of people who love God and desire to see everyone's lives around them filled with the Holy Spirit, freed by God's free gift of grace and saved by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. We both believe that this is the community God has for us to grow with and minister along side of, so we are very excited for the time we have with them. :) I was kind of lost, not having a church community to fellowship with and serve in because I believe that those are vital elements to each of our relationships with God, but now I'm found. God's faithful friends! :)

T-46 days and counting!

since i last wrote, i kind feel like i did when i was about to get married. as soon as my beau proposed i was off like a flash of lighting doing everything i possibly could to get things rolling for the big day! then...i waited. there was a period of a few months between the big stuff and waiting to take care of the little stuff...which seemed like forever...where there just didn't seem to be much i could do. then of course it came down to the last few weeks when it felt like there wasn't enough time to do it all! *(cue final weeks till the move) after we submitted the paperwork for our visas and spent a weekend or two continuing to organize the apartment into "keep", "store", "give away", "good-will", "sold" and "i have no idea" piles, there just hasn't been much to talk about. probably the biggest news since is that torre was approved by the medical board of new zealand! yeah...i think that does constitute something to say. my bad. well now you know! we are still waiting for our visas to go through though. and while we wait we have a very busy few weeks ahead of us! only 19 days until we leave for the Dominican Republic to serve with G.O. Ministries for a week! We are so excited to see friends from last year and to be able to bring much needed medical supplies, love and encouragement to the Vargas family and all the nationals we have the opportunity to serve!!! that also means that we only have 19 days left in Boston. :( it's always sad to be moving away from a place and people you've come to love and share life with, but it's pretty exciting to be moving in a new direction anticipating all that God has in store. :) we will be traveling for the entire month of august so please keep us in your prayers as we go. we will be visiting family in several locations, celebrating a family wedding and wrapping it all up with the grand finale...our exit of the Americas! how am i feeling at this point? tired, eager, like i can't wait till every things packed and shipped to storage, praying that i don't rush through and miss one second of the time we have left in Boston with friends and my sister, and extremely exited for what's ahead. what's next? laundry. :)